Office hours

[sith_happened]

Anakin's desk was covered in electronics as he spun a tiny screwdriver between his fingers and consulted his schematics again.

It was easier to keep his mind off of unpleasant thoughts when his hands were busy.

The door was open.

[OOC: What Anakin and Molly talked about NFB, please.]

Comments

[sith_happened]

"I didn't know I looked that scary," he said quietly.

He wasn't exactly up to looking into the mirror yet.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"You don't look scary," Rory said, blinking. "You're cu - "

Oh, the blushing. "You're...not scary."

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled. "I'm cuddly?" he tried.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory snorted. "Hardly."

She steeled up her courage, and said, "You're actually kind of attractive. Not for me," she hastened to add, "but it's certainly an improvement over the suit."

[sith_happened]

Anakin's cheeks went red. "Good to know," he said softly. "Not that I was ever planning on putting that suit on again."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I'd recommend against it," Rory said dryly. "It'd make a hell of a Halloween costume, though."

[sith_happened]

Anakin tried to repress a shudder.

It almost worked.

"I think I'll pass."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory's expression softened. "Still a little raw for me to be making jokes, huh?"

[sith_happened]

He nodded. "It was claustrophobic and I hated it."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I can't imagine what it was like," she whispered. "I tried, and it was horrible."

[sith_happened]

Anakin looked up sharply. "Don't try," he said. "Please. I've made you miserable enough."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory's mouth twitched upwards at that. "You realize that by telling me not to think about something, I won't be able to not do it, right?"

[sith_happened]

"That wasn't my intention," Anakin said, cheeks flaming up. "I'd been working on it and I could breathe without the helmet on for almost 20 seconds."

It had taken close to 20 years to get there, too. The man's sheer stubbornness was its own force of nature.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory's brows went up. "You told me it didn't come off."

[sith_happened]

"It wasn't supposed to," Anakin said. "I mean, there were components to it--it wasn't welded to my skull or anything--but for almost twenty years, when I looked in the mirror, that's what I saw."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Was your vision clear, or did you have....I don't know, crosshairs or something?" she asked quietly.

[sith_happened]

"It was always too bright," Anakin said. "My eyes had been burnt in the lava, too. The computer took care of fixing my vision." He shuddered again. "It was no way to live."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Anakin," she sighed. "No wonder you were always in a crappy mood."

[sith_happened]

He stared at her, trying to fight back a smile. "That was part of it, yeah."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"It must be...different," she said, gesturing towards him feebly. "Having limbs and sight and the ability to breathe and...everything."

[sith_happened]

"It's a little overwhelming at times," he said. "I haven't been able to feel the Force this strongly...ever."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Wow. Not even, um, before?" Rory asked, her eyes wide.

[sith_happened]

"I didn't have all of my limbs before," Anakin said softly. "That changes things." He clenched his hands together. "I'm not sure I want it."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I meant before the suit before," she replied, "but why wouldn't you want it? Think of how incredible this is."

[sith_happened]

"Before the suit before I still lost my arm as a Padawan," he said. "And I'm not sure I want to be able to use the Force like this." He bit his lip, then admitted something he would never tell anyone else. "I'm afraid to."