Office hours

[sith_happened]

Anakin's desk was covered in electronics as he spun a tiny screwdriver between his fingers and consulted his schematics again.

It was easier to keep his mind off of unpleasant thoughts when his hands were busy.

The door was open.

[OOC: What Anakin and Molly talked about NFB, please.]

Comments

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory's mouth twitched upwards at that. "You realize that by telling me not to think about something, I won't be able to not do it, right?"

[sith_happened]

"That wasn't my intention," Anakin said, cheeks flaming up. "I'd been working on it and I could breathe without the helmet on for almost 20 seconds."

It had taken close to 20 years to get there, too. The man's sheer stubbornness was its own force of nature.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory's brows went up. "You told me it didn't come off."

[sith_happened]

"It wasn't supposed to," Anakin said. "I mean, there were components to it--it wasn't welded to my skull or anything--but for almost twenty years, when I looked in the mirror, that's what I saw."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Was your vision clear, or did you have....I don't know, crosshairs or something?" she asked quietly.

[sith_happened]

"It was always too bright," Anakin said. "My eyes had been burnt in the lava, too. The computer took care of fixing my vision." He shuddered again. "It was no way to live."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Anakin," she sighed. "No wonder you were always in a crappy mood."

[sith_happened]

He stared at her, trying to fight back a smile. "That was part of it, yeah."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"It must be...different," she said, gesturing towards him feebly. "Having limbs and sight and the ability to breathe and...everything."

[sith_happened]

"It's a little overwhelming at times," he said. "I haven't been able to feel the Force this strongly...ever."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Wow. Not even, um, before?" Rory asked, her eyes wide.

[sith_happened]

"I didn't have all of my limbs before," Anakin said softly. "That changes things." He clenched his hands together. "I'm not sure I want it."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"I meant before the suit before," she replied, "but why wouldn't you want it? Think of how incredible this is."

[sith_happened]

"Before the suit before I still lost my arm as a Padawan," he said. "And I'm not sure I want to be able to use the Force like this." He bit his lip, then admitted something he would never tell anyone else. "I'm afraid to."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory watched him. "I can understand that," she said softly, "but you have to trust yourself. You've learned. You won't make the same mistakes, and you have people here to watch out for you. Think of the good you can do with your power."

[sith_happened]

Anakin dropped his head, then nodded. "I'll get there," he said. "Just...not today."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Honey, no one's asking you to," Rory said gently, dropping the name in without meaning to.

[sith_happened]

Anakin looked up quickly but didn't think to correct her. "It might take years."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Then it takes years," she replied softly. "You've only been back two weeks and five days."

Rory might know just a little too much info for a casual observer.

[sith_happened]

"It feels like longer," Anakin said, missing the significance of her keeping such exact track of things.

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Not to me," she whispered. "It's still not really real to me."

[sith_happened]

Anakin looked over at her, eyes very serious. "Anything I can do to convince you that it is?"

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Nothing you haven't done already. It's just - have you ever wanted something so badly, and you never really believe it'll happen...and then it does?" Rory asked. "It's hard to wrap your mind around getting what you want."

[sith_happened]

It had only happened once, and it wasn't something Rory would want to hear about.

Anakin nodded. "It is," he said. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse for you, but there it is."

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

She smiled. "But I am."