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[sith_happened]

Anakin had dreamed about Padmé again last night, feeling an almost irresistible draw back to the island (which he had damn well resisted, thank you very much. He was here because he had a job, not because the island wanted him), and was feeling guilty and cranky Anakin wasn't one to trust feelings of calm, warmth, and love. He wasn't really used to feeling them.

And the feel of waiting that the island seemed to be exuding had set the skin on the back of his neck crawling. His hand kept twitching toward the lightsaber he wasn't wearing on campus.

The door was open, but be wary of the twitchy Jedi.

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[trigons_child]

"There are," Raven said, biting at her lower lip. "But my mother now guards the way so Trigon cannot invade this dimension. If I were to call her to me, much as I wish I could, that could allow my father to enter this world again, and I cannot allow that to happen."

[sith_happened]

He squeezed her hand. "Both of your sacrifices are noticed."

[trigons_child]

"I hope that one day I will be able to see her again, somehow," Raven said. "I was never able to tell her I loved her. I always did, even if I was not allowed to express it."

[sith_happened]

"She's a mother," Anakin said with a tiny smile. "She knew. And she loved you too, as much as she was able to."

[trigons_child]

"She still feared that learning emotions is dangerous for me," Raven said quietly. "And she is not entirely wrong. Anger and fear are difficult for me."

[sith_happened]

"They're difficult for many people," Anakin said. "Jedi teach that those emotions are of the dark side."

There was a slight pause. "Have you seen Aphrodite lately?"

[trigons_child]

"I have not," Raven said, shaking her head. "I left her a message asking to speak to her but she has not responded. I am not certain what to make of that."

[sith_happened]

"Would you like me to talk to her?" Anakin asked.

It would probably not involved much talking. Yelling, yes. Talking, not so much.

[trigons_child]

"I do not think that is necessary," Raven said. Because she knew that would go over so well. "I merely wish to make certain she is back to being herself again. And that seeing that other side of me did not frighten her."

[sith_happened]

Anakin looked a little irked. "If it did, it should be enough to remind her why messing with the students of Fandom is not a good idea."

Full of sympathy, that Anakin.

[trigons_child]

"Perhaps, but I do not like others seeing that part of me," Raven said, shifting uncomfortably. "It is ugly and violent and everything I do not wish to be."

[sith_happened]

"But it is still a part of you," Anakin said softly. "Denying that gives it greater power and makes it more difficult to control."

Which he had learned the hard way.

"Accept all parts of who you are and no one can use your vulnerabilities against you."

[trigons_child]

"I do not wish it to be part of me," Raven said. "You have seen me when I have lost control -- how can I accept that?" It only filled her with guilt and shame afterward.

[sith_happened]

"Because it happened," Anakin said, "and denying that only makes you weaker."

He took a deep breath. "I have done things in my life that I am not proud of--losing control of my temper, then blaming others for my own actions. It has taken me many years to find balance within myself, and accept all of my limitations."

[trigons_child]

"I am not certain I could ever balance what that part of me is capable of," Raven said, her eyes distant. "I am the daughter of Trigon the Terrible, much as I wish I could deny that. But every time I use my gifts to heal instead of hurt, I am denying him in some small way." And the pain was penance, but she didn't mention that part.

[sith_happened]

She wouldn't have to--a large part of why Anakin taught teenagers was because it was a form of penance.

"In my experience, repressing things only makes them explode later," Anakin said, "and it's almost impossible to control an explosion."

[trigons_child]

"You think I should let that part of myself manifest more often?" Raven said.

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled at her. "I don't want to see you with four eyes," he said, "but it is part of who you are. I spent many, many years running from my temper, and when it finally exploded, I couldn't control it."

[trigons_child]

"I have spent all my life suppressing it," Raven said, "and when it does manifest, it is difficult for me to rein back in. I can see the logic in what you are saying, but I am not certain just how I could do that."

[sith_happened]

"We could take it slowly," he suggested. "You already know that I can take care of myself when it manifests."

[trigons_child]

"How would we do such a thing?" Raven asked. "How would you provoke me? I am not certain I can tap into that part of me without strong negative emotion since I have worked so hard to control it for so long."

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled. "I'm pretty good at provoking people."

[trigons_child]

"What if I hurt you?" Raven said, still not quite sure about this idea. She could see the wisdom, but it didn't make the fear of something going wrong any less.

[sith_happened]

"We could start in the Danger Shop if you're very worried," Anakin suggested.

[trigons_child]

"That might be safer," Raven agreed. "The thought of hurting someone when my demon side manifests is abhorrent to me."