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[sith_happened]

Anakin had dreamed about Padmé again last night, feeling an almost irresistible draw back to the island (which he had damn well resisted, thank you very much. He was here because he had a job, not because the island wanted him), and was feeling guilty and cranky Anakin wasn't one to trust feelings of calm, warmth, and love. He wasn't really used to feeling them.

And the feel of waiting that the island seemed to be exuding had set the skin on the back of his neck crawling. His hand kept twitching toward the lightsaber he wasn't wearing on campus.

The door was open, but be wary of the twitchy Jedi.

Comments

[sith_happened]

"Because it happened," Anakin said, "and denying that only makes you weaker."

He took a deep breath. "I have done things in my life that I am not proud of--losing control of my temper, then blaming others for my own actions. It has taken me many years to find balance within myself, and accept all of my limitations."

[trigons_child]

"I am not certain I could ever balance what that part of me is capable of," Raven said, her eyes distant. "I am the daughter of Trigon the Terrible, much as I wish I could deny that. But every time I use my gifts to heal instead of hurt, I am denying him in some small way." And the pain was penance, but she didn't mention that part.

[sith_happened]

She wouldn't have to--a large part of why Anakin taught teenagers was because it was a form of penance.

"In my experience, repressing things only makes them explode later," Anakin said, "and it's almost impossible to control an explosion."

[trigons_child]

"You think I should let that part of myself manifest more often?" Raven said.

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled at her. "I don't want to see you with four eyes," he said, "but it is part of who you are. I spent many, many years running from my temper, and when it finally exploded, I couldn't control it."

[trigons_child]

"I have spent all my life suppressing it," Raven said, "and when it does manifest, it is difficult for me to rein back in. I can see the logic in what you are saying, but I am not certain just how I could do that."

[sith_happened]

"We could take it slowly," he suggested. "You already know that I can take care of myself when it manifests."

[trigons_child]

"How would we do such a thing?" Raven asked. "How would you provoke me? I am not certain I can tap into that part of me without strong negative emotion since I have worked so hard to control it for so long."

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled. "I'm pretty good at provoking people."

[trigons_child]

"What if I hurt you?" Raven said, still not quite sure about this idea. She could see the wisdom, but it didn't make the fear of something going wrong any less.

[sith_happened]

"We could start in the Danger Shop if you're very worried," Anakin suggested.

[trigons_child]

"That might be safer," Raven agreed. "The thought of hurting someone when my demon side manifests is abhorrent to me."

[sith_happened]

Which is why, even if she did, he wouldn't let on that he'd been hurt. Anakin was stupid useful like that. "I won't get hurt," he promised.

[trigons_child]

"When do you wish to try this exercise?" Raven asked. "Perhaps if it goes well, I will be more confident."

[sith_happened]

"Next week?" Anakin suggested.

[trigons_child]

Raven nodded. "Instead of meeting you here?" she said. "Or another time? I have no classes on Mondays or Tuesdays, and my afternoons are free except for Wednesday, when I must be at the Magic Reserves meeting."

[sith_happened]

"I teach on Tuesdays," Anakin said, "so maybe we can meet after that. I'm in the Danger Room anyway."

[trigons_child]

"Just a test this first time," Raven said, nodding. "To see how such a thing would go."