Office hours [all day]

[sith_happened]

Anakin had dreamed about Padmé again last night, feeling an almost irresistible draw back to the island (which he had damn well resisted, thank you very much. He was here because he had a job, not because the island wanted him), and was feeling guilty and cranky Anakin wasn't one to trust feelings of calm, warmth, and love. He wasn't really used to feeling them.

And the feel of waiting that the island seemed to be exuding had set the skin on the back of his neck crawling. His hand kept twitching toward the lightsaber he wasn't wearing on campus.

The door was open, but be wary of the twitchy Jedi.

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[sith_happened]

Anakin staggered backward to lean heavily against his desk, his hand going over his mouth as he turned a bit green.

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

Her forehead furrowed and she took a step forward. "I knew there was good in you, Anakin," she said softly, "if that's what you're worried about."

[NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

That was about half of it.

"Padmé," he choked out over a suddenly tight throat, "I'm so, so sorry."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

She reached up to cup his face between her hands as she'd done a thousand times before.

"Ani."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

He recoiled from her touch. "We can't."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

Padmé's voice turned a touch impatient. "Anakin, I've been dead for a while now. I think the secret part of our marriage is a bit of a lost cause."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

"I'm married," he said, holding up his left hand. "Again."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

And it was stupid to feel jealous...but she did anyway.

"Oh."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

"You've been gone for a long time, Padmé," he said quietly.

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

"Is she here?" she asked, just as quietly. A thousand questions raced through her mind. Is she prettier than I am? Do you love her more than you love me? Do you have children? Are you happier now? What did you tell her about me? Does she even know about me?

She asked none of them, more concerned with fighting back tears.

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

Anakin's heart turned in his chest in a familiar way, and he stepped toward her again. "Padmé, don't cry," he said. "Please. I can't bear making you unhappy."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

Padmé's eyes went a little cold. "Oh, we both know that's not true."

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

Anakin winced. "There is no way to apologize for that, is there?"

He sounded resigned more than anything. Of all of the terrible things he'd done, Mustafar still gave him nightmares that he woke screaming from.

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[force-forgives.livejournal.com]

"No," she said, looking straight into his eyes. "I loved you. I believed in you. And you betrayed everything we both dedicated our lives to. I'm not here to give you absolution, Anakin."

She reached up to touch his cheek. "But then, you don't really expect forgiveness."

With that, she turned on her heel and left the office.

Re: [NFB, silly squirrels]

[sith_happened]

Anakin waited until her presence faded from the hallway before collapsing into his chair with his head between his hands.

This was going to be bad.