sith_happened | Anakin's cot in the clinic [afternoon]

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Anakin's cot in the clinic [afternoon]

Of course he felt when it happened.

He also felt Luke's moment of blind panic before he was located in the Force. Anakin would have rolled his eyes if it hadn't felt like too much effort. He wasn't planning on going anywhere...he'd just take a nap. Under all of these blankets.

Hot.

Enclosed.

Helpless.

Was it any wonder he had nightmares?He was trapped, held down by arms he couldn't see and no longer had the strength to fight off.

Everything hurt. His eyes hurt, his skin...what was left of his body...

He looked up into a cruel black mask as it slid down over his face, his newly digitized eyes bathing everything in a red haze.

And it would never, ever change. He was trapped.

Forever.

And it was all his fault.

And the barriers around Anakin's mind that he guarded with such intensity were just not working right now; his body had more important things to worry about.

So those images, that feeling of hopeless claustrophobia, spilled out towards those who would be able to pick it up...

Anakin would regret that later. Now he was too busy sitting up in bed, clapping his hands over his mouth to hold in a scream.

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Unfortunately for both of them, Jaina was one of the people able to pick up on it. She did try and shut it out once she realized what was going on, but the fact was, she'd seen and felt enough to realize what was going on.

And because she couldn't not, she got to his cot as soon as she could, hoping to alleviate some of the... everything.

Anakin's blue eyes were dark as he stared intently at nothing and tried to regain control over his breathing.

"I'm fine."

"Of course you are," said Jaina, who didn't believe it for a second. She offered him the bottle she'd been carrying, still watching him and really not wanting him to see that she was a little freaked out just seeing him like this.

Anakin picked up on it anyway and pulled himself back together with an effort. "Don't worry about me," he said in a quiet voice. "There's enough emotion flying around here without you needing to add to your headache."

"No offense, but you didn't really help it right then," she told him, but it was less accusatory than worried.

Anakin gave her a small smile. "That wasn't my intention. You're getting some rest, right?"

It wasn't really a question.

"Spending most of the day peeking at my incredibly uncomfortable cot doesn't count."

"I was at the dorms earlier." Way earlier. Early enough to probably not count as 'today'. "I'm okay. I'm not messing around with this."

"For once, use me as an example of something to do," Anakin said just before another fit of coughing struck him.

"Or build yourself a bubble. That could work too."

"I could," she said when the coughing had subsided. "You okay? Honestly. Anything you need?"

"To figure why I can't do what Mara did," he said.

"Hers was sort of a gradual onset, and an entirely different illness, and this hit pretty hard and fast," she said. She didn't really know, but it made sense to her. It was probably at least a little true regardless.

"But I'm me," Anakin replied, confused.

He hadn't really ever learned the lesson that he couldn't beat everything.

She kind of felt bad for him there. "Yeah, you are. Don't try to compare two very different things that happened to two very different people. All you'll do is frustrate yourself."

"I like being frustrated," Anakin said, scratching a bit at his arms. "It keeps me from being bored."

"Okay, then be frustrated. Just don't make it worse on yourself. And don't scratch, you'll spread it," Jaina said automatically.

"I'm not..." Anakin looked over at his arm and let loose with a pretty impressive stream of curses.

Which, of course, led to another coughing fit.

Jaina waited it out, still no less concerned than she was before, holding out the bottle again when he was done.

Anakin drank in very small sips, throat feeling like it was on fire. "I think if someone offered to cut my head off with a lightsaber, I might almost thank them," he commented.

"Don't tempt fate like that," she told him, though she was a little surprised he was admitting that much.

"It's mostly the emotions," he said very quietly. "I'm using my meditation time on something slightly more pressing than keeping people out of my head--I didn't know about the nightmares--and it's getting kind of loud."

She'd had to work at shutting everyone out for a while- till now, actually- and it was hard to imagine having to do that and take care of yourself physically. "Is there anything I can do?"

Anakin never asked for help.

Ever.

"Would you mind giving me a little bit of an assist?" he replied.

She wouldn't have asked if she minded. Nodding, she reached a gloved hand to his temple and said, "Open up a little."

Anakin closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, dropping his barriers.

She thought he would probably be better at this, but all she had to do was give a little push. Concentrating, she focused on him, trying to give him said little push under.

Anakin reached out, gratitude obvious through the Force as the luminous being he was there (where stupid things like headaches and rashes didn't matter) began shining with his something closer to his normal presence.

"Thank you," he said, some of the pain easing from he face.

"It's what I'm here for," she told him.

Anakin reached out and stroked her cheek with a knuckle. "That's what you're here to do for other people," he said softly. "I can take care of myself most of the time."

"I heard the 'most'," she told him with a little smile.

Anakin tapped her nose before leaning back against his pillows. "I'll deny it if you tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?" she grinned. "Get some rest."

"You too," Anakin said, the familiar ring of command in his voice.

"I will," she nodded, and got up to let him get said rest.

Luke came skittering into Anakin's cot space.

"Dad?" he whispered, too worried to care about the sudden switch into informality.

"Lukey, breathe," Anakin said. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Lukey? he repeated, then shook his head. "I'm just a little...tense," he admitted.

Not that that hadn't been blazingly obvious.

Anakin gave him a soft smile and hitched the blankets higher. You looked like a Lukey for a moment, my son. Relax, I'm not going anywhere, he thought at him, the voice in Luke's head sounding way more tired and weak than Anakin would've preferred.

"You look," terrible, Luke thought, keeping it very much to himself, "strong enough to pull the wings off a gundark."

He sat down on the bed. "Need anything? I've got Vladdie taken care of."

Rory.

He wasn't going to say that out loud quite yet. "I need you to stop being so worried," Anakin said instead. "You're going to make yourself sick and that's just not acceptable to me."

Anakin could've asked Luke to fly by flapping his arms and it would've been a slightly more attainable request.

"I'll work on it," he said instead, focusing on his hands and noticing the rash creeping down onto Anakin's hands. His stomach plummeted.

"I'll leave you to your meditation," he said, giving his father a warm smile that was possibly the least convincing thing ever. "You'll be fine."

"Of course I will," Anakin said, smiling back. "Find something useful to do with your time. Help someone who could need the relief."

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Anakin's cot in the clinic [afternoon]

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