Voicemail

[sith_happened]

This is Anakin Skywalker. I'm not here right now. Please leave a message.

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[doesdoctorstuff]

Yeah, so Navaan had class today, but she wasn't actually following any of the rules, just spinning the wheel and making phone calls. And sometimes not even bothering to spin the wheel.

"OH OH OH NO THIS ONE IS GOOD THIS ONE IS GOOD I'M GONNA DO THIS ONE!!!" For the record, Anakin, everything on the wheel said 'text.' That is, I'm afraid, not happening. "HEYYYYY BESTIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE. WANNA GO OUT AND GET SOME DRINKS TOMORROW? OR TONIGHT? WHY WAIT, I'M DRUNK IN DEAN'S CLASS RIGHT NOW!"

That's right, Anakin. This was Dean's fault.

[sith_happened]

Anakin texted back: I'm busy. Forever.

[doesdoctorstuff]

He was getting a call back. Because monster.

"BESTIE, STOP BEING SUCH A SHUT-IN. TAKE YOUR DEPRESSION ROBES OFF, FIND SOMETHING CUTE - THERE ARE LOTS OF FLATTERING CUTS WE CAN FIND FOR YOU - AND COME ONNNNNNN!"

[sith_happened]

"But I like being a shut-in," Anakin protested.

[doesdoctorstuff]

"I mean, that's obvious," Navaan said, rolling her eyes. "Have you considered the reason you're a shut-in is because you're feeling isolated from your community and you feel like it's better to do that on your terms than theirs?"

[sith_happened]

"...no?" Anakin said after a long pause. "I just don't like most of you."

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Lashing out is common, bestie," Navaan said. "Don't worry, I'm not taking it to heart."

[sith_happened]

Oh, how he wished she would. "That's very...forgiving...of you."

[doesdoctorstuff]

He and Ignis should form a support group.

"I know," Navaan assured him. "That's probably why the school assigned me to be your bestie. They know you need some work."

[sith_happened]

"I do not need work," Anakin protested.

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Denial is a common phase," Navaan said. "You'll get through this. Possibly with an intervention."

The whole island would show up, Anakin. In....solidarity, sure.

[sith_happened]

"I definitely don't need an intervention," Anakin retorted.

[doesdoctorstuff]

"Sure you don't, bestie." If Anakin thought Navaan sounded condescending, it was because she was.

[sith_happened]

Anakin had been taught by Obi-Wan Kenobi, he was fluent in condescension. "I don't."

Not this year, anyway?

[doesdoctorstuff]

"You know what, I believe you," Navaan decided. "You have the strength to get yourself turned around without needing an intervention."

[sith_happened]

This felt like a trap. "...thank you?"

[doesdoctorstuff]

Look, sometimes people just needed to hit rock bottom on their own.

"The important thing, bestie, is that I'll be with you every step of the way."

[sith_happened]

"...you don't really have to do that."

Please, please don't do that.

[doesdoctorstuff]

"I know I don't have to," Navaan said. "That's what makes me a good friend."

[sith_happened]

"Does it?" Anakin replied.

[doesdoctorstuff]

"That and a bunch of other great qualities, but I'm here to help you with your insecurities, not add to them," Navaan insisted.

[sith_happened]

"Uh huh," Anakin said dryly. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

[doesdoctorstuff]

"I am in class!" Navaan reported happily. "This is our assignment!"

Well. Sorta. Anyway, Anakin, blame Dean.