Office hours [all day Thursday. Yes. Thursday.]

[sith_happened]

Anakin hadn't been in his office since the end of the spring semester, so he'd decided to spend some time there cleaning cobwebs, updating holos and rearranging furniture before classes began.

And glancing at the open door every five seconds waiting to see if his granddaughter might show up.

You know, all casual-like.

{ooc: oooooopen}

Comments

[sith_happened]

"It also helps if you let emotional walls down," Anakin offered quietly.

[solo_sword]

She shook her head. "I'm not ready," she said simply. With any luck, she'd be dead before she had to.

[sith_happened]

"Then then meld won't be at its most effective," Anakin said, "and that margin can be a critical difference." His eyes looked worried. "It takes a lot of effort to keep walls that high, my Jaina," he added softly. "It can get exhausting."

[solo_sword]

"I'm doing fine," she said. "And I can't do anything with the meld at this distance anyhow. I'll worry about that when I'm allowed back."

[sith_happened]

Anakin didn't look convinced. "Fine," he repeated.

[solo_sword]

"Yes, fine," she said evenly.

[sith_happened]

Anakin gave a mental nudge against her shields. "Then explain those," he said.

[solo_sword]

"I don't want to share, and I don't want to have to deal with people's worry or pity," Jaina explained. "It's distracting."

[sith_happened]

"Sorry to be distracting," Anakin said, sounding anything but. "The Jedi prized detachment, but numbness is another thing entirely. Numbness will get you killed in spectacularly stupid ways."

[solo_sword]

"Not exactly anything I need to worry about here, is it?" said she who didn't even want to be here. That might explain some of the bitter in her voice. "Anyway, you don't know what I'm feeling, numb or not."

[sith_happened]

"Because you're the only one in this room who's lost family?" Anakin asked, his voice getting heated. "Or has turned to the dark side because it gave you what you wanted when you were angry and hurting? Please."

[solo_sword]

"No, I turned to the dark side because it would help defeat the enemy," she said, and while she was still mostly calm, her words were definitely carrying an edge. "Get rid of them, I didn't really care what it cost me."

[sith_happened]

"You're trying to convince me that you were using dark powers for altruistic reasons?" Anakin snorted. "That might work as an argument with someone who hasn't also been there, Jaina. If that were really the case, you'd be black cloaking it up at home, not here reevaluating your choice."

[solo_sword]

"Because Kyp got to me before I could really do anything," Jaina pointed out. "And I never said I was being altruistic. I wanted them dead, after all."

[sith_happened]

"And you didn't care how many on your side you sacrificed to achieve that, right?" Anakin sighed. "The dark side isn't all galactic domination and evil cackling laughter, you know. It's quiet and insidious and offers the quick path to giving you what you want. I'm glad Durron was there to stop you, but I need to know that you can stop you the next time."

[solo_sword]

"I know that," she said, sounding a little tired. Not that she'd been through this with Karal or anything. "Okay, here it is: I reacted badly, but I won't make excuses. I did some things I'm very sorry for, and others I'm not so sorry for because it worked out for the better. I'm here. I agreed to be here, much as I hate it. I'm working on it. What should I be doing, wallowing? What good is that going to do?"

[sith_happened]

"It's the part that you're not so sorry for that worries me," Anakin said bluntly. "Good results that come out of bad reactions are still bad, Jaina. I don't need you to wallow," though Anakin had certainly done more than his share of it, "but I do need you to pinpoint where you started falling this time. The dark side isn't a one-time thing and ignoring what led you there is a guarantee that you'll do it again."

He let out an unhappy sigh. "I'm kind of an expert on it. I have been where you are. There is nothing you can admit to that will shock me."

[solo_sword]

"I know when I started falling. Look, I'm coming to grips with everything. Why can't everyone just do the same?" She was genuinely curious about this. And for someone who was better at doing things than saying them, this was really a frustration.

[sith_happened]

He gave her a very tiny smile. "Is it too much to imagine that people care about you?" he asked softly. "It's been a bad month, and there are parts of it that can't be fixed. I don't want to lose you, too, my Jaina. Not to something I know how to prevent."

[solo_sword]

"I know people care." In fact, she was trying to stop that. "But I don't want to dwell on past mistakes. I did stupid stuff. Okay, moving on, and being productive."

[sith_happened]

Anakin didn't look that eager to let the matter drop, but he was afraid he was treading into useless Obi-Wan cliche territory.

"Acknowledge and move on," he agreed finally. "But don't hate your time here."

[solo_sword]

"I don't. Entirely." And that was all thanks to a whopping one person.

[sith_happened]

"Why do you think Durron brought you here?" Anakin asked, hiding the hurt in his eyes like a professional.

[solo_sword]

"To deal, and get over myself. Which I'm doing," Jaina answered. And she was, mostly.

[sith_happened]

"If he hasn't come back to pick you up, perhaps he doesn't think the lesson is complete," Anakin offered.