sith_happened | Ye olde shuttle parking [early afternoon]

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Ye olde shuttle parking [early afternoon]

After hours of sweaty work, Anakin had finally gotten the hyperdrive working again.

He's slept through most of Sunday--he'd needed the rest--and was looking almost like himself again.

Except for the nervous twitch he was developing as the time Rory normally showed up got closer.

Blurry - Puddle of Mudd

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Rory swallowed. She didn't know present was really an option to him.

"What do you think?"

Anakin looked into her eyes, a little desperate to see some glimmer that she'd figured out what he was trying to tell her.

He couldn't find it, and his heart cracked just a little more.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "Our lives have become an asteroid field I can't find a way to plot a course through."

"We're a little complicated," she agreed with a tiny, tiny smile.

He reached out to play with a strand of her hair. You know. As friends do.

"And the sun's a little warm."

Rory bit her lip. "It's just...you and I? We're...it's big."

"And complicated," Anakin said, because repetition was good when you were trying to convince yourself to believe something you didn't want to.

"And a lot," she said softly.

And I don't want to scare you, he whispered in her mind, sounding more uncertain than he ever would aloud.

You don't. It's just...you're grieving, and it's all so strange and...I don't want to overwhelm you, she replied.

Anakin leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. You don't, he said softly.

It'd be so easy, she sighed, reaching a fingertip up to touch his jaw. But...I can't.

He closed his eyes a split second too late to hide how much that had hurt to hear.

I know, he said, sounding resigned. There's too much...past in our past.

Ah, Anakin. Such a way with words.

"We're different," she said aloud, softly. "I can't risk us falling back into everything when we're like this. It's too new and too different and too big. I can't. Not yet."

Anakin forgot about breathing as he watched her eyes. "...yet?" he repeated.

Rory hadn't meant to say that.

"...I can't speak for the future," she said, looking up at him hesitantly. "But right now, it's too -- everything. Maybe it'll get less complicated. But this is us, so I doubt it."

He'd never been any good at hiding anything from her, so the heartbreak was clear in his eyes as he nodded. "I understand."

"It's funny. If you'd asked me a couple months ago what I wanted more than anything? I'd say this," she said with a soft, humorless laugh. "But I don't want either of us hurt more than we already are."

Anakin reached out a hand to cup her chin. "I've already caused you enough damage," he agreed quietly.

"That's not what I said," she replied quietly.

But that's why he wouldn't do it.

He ran a finger down her cheek, gave her a long look, and then stepped back, shaking his head.

"It's true," he said, starting out the window again.

"It's not like there isn't blame on my end too," she argued.

Anakin's eyes flicked back to her. "How do you plot that course?" he asked, confused.

Rory shrugged. "Clean slate, Anakin. I forgave you. I'm just as accountable as anyone now." She shook her head. "And really I shouldn't...be with anyone for a long time. Even you."

Anakin didn't want to fight about this again, but he couldn't stop himself from asking. "Did he hurt you that much?"

Because if the answer was yes, there wasn't anything in this galaxy that would stop him from kicking someone's ass.

She shook her head. "He was fine. I don't know how many different ways I can tell you that I wasn't over you, though. It was a mistake."

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