Anakin's Office, post Shenanigans

[sith_happened]

Anakin settled in at his desk and pulled up his list of teacher contacts, then sent an email (and hoped he didn't need to follow up with a raven or something for Jaskier, Cara, and Yennefer. Where would he even find ravens?)

To: FH Faculty
From: Anakin Skywalker, Dean of Students
CC: Zoe Winchester
Subject: HOLES
________________________________________________________________

Fully recognizing the ridiculousness that is occurring this week, I am requesting several things:

1) You reply to this communication in some way so that we can keep track of which members of staff are currently indisposed.
2) You attempt to come up with a way to teach your classes for the foreseeable future in a way that does not involve meeting in person. While these holes don't seem to have a pattern, wandering around the town and school is inadvisable and we should model good behavior, even though we all know the students well enough to realize they do what they want. My children used something called TeamWebZoom for parts of their classes this year--I recommend using that until the current situation is rectified. Given the normal tempo of the island, I would guess it will be fixed by this weekend, but this is also not supposed to show up until August, so I'm at a bit of a loss.
3) DO NOT FALL OR JUMP INTO A HOLE ON PURPOSE.

Regards,
AS

Comments

[nuclear_snide]

A short time after the email went out, Bob walked through the door into Anakin's office.

"I have a class to teach," he informed him. "Yet again, not the one I wanted to teach. Do you have any sort of pull with this idiotic island to convince it to let me actually use a computer?"

[sith_happened]

"If I had any sort of pull with this island, my family wouldn't be a gremlin all-you-can-eat buffet," Anakin said dryly. "Would voice activation not work for you?"

[nuclear_snide]

Bob raised an eyebrow. "Possibly, if I had any way of setting it up. All I can do at the moment is read things. And if I get too close, even that's debatable. Look, it let me use the...whatever it's called room last term, but now even that's not working. I have no idea what logic it thinks it's working on."

[sith_happened]

"Logic is never this place's strength," Anakin said. "So you need someone to type for you? That leaves the moose out."

[nuclear_snide]

"I was going to draft a teaching assistant in my first class, but if they can't come into the school, that won't help." Bob sighed. "Do we even know what's causing these holes?"

[sith_happened]

"The mobile donut shop," Anakin said, "or at least that's the prevailing guess. But no one's found someone to threaten to make it stop yet."

[nuclear_snide]

Bob stared for a moment.

"If it's causing the problem, and there's nobody in it, have we considered simply blowing it up?" he asked. "Setting it on fire? Dropping something large and heavy on it?" There were so many possibilities!

[sith_happened]

"It's not a location," Anakin pointed out. "It was a flyer. And an app."

[nuclear_snide]

Bob squinted at him. "Well, the doughnuts must be coming from somewhere. Has anybody tried to follow them back to the source?"

He'd normally assume so, but this island had some odd blindspots.

[sith_happened]

"The source is the building-and-people sucking holes, Bob," Anakin said slowly. "But sure, go ahead. We'll miss you."

[nuclear_snide]

Bob sighed. "The doughnut source, unless you mean the holes are spewing them out."

[sith_happened]

"I mean the holes are spewing them out," Anakin said. He turned to his comm and texted a few people, then nodded. "Fosse the troll will assist you with tech support and typing to your class."

That should end well.

[nuclear_snide]

"...don't suppose we could order doughnuts with a side of someone that's disappeared, see if they send them back?" Bob asked hopefully.

Bob grimaced. "Well, at least he's got taste in music. But the first person to call us Bob Fosse is failing. Even if they aren't in my class. I'll find a way."

[sith_happened]

"That seems fair," Anakin decided.

[nuclear_snide]

"Good." Bob nodded. "Right, well. If these holes seem to be magic, do let me know. I'm nothing if not good at research. And probably immune to them, although I should hate to test that unless absolutely necessary."

[hashtag_chocobro]

Hey, Bus Dean!!!

Oh, Anakin, weren't you just so glad to have former students as faculty now?

Letting you know I got the email and I'm still here and I can definitely work something out remotely for class! I haven't heard from Ignis in a while, though, neither has anyone back home, so I'm a little worried about him. Like I'm sure he's fine because he's Ignis but...u know....holes and stuff.

Anyway. Just checking in.

--Prompto!

[sith_happened]

I'll mark Ignis down as missing, Anakin sent back. Please stay away from holes and tell Nina to stay away from holes.

...and then possibly follow Nina to make sure Nina stays away from holes.

Because Anakin had met Nina.

[jedigrammarians]

I'm okay, boss!

Because Anakin was not that lucky.

[wrongkindofsith]

They didn't use ravens in D'Hara, Anakin, messed up blood magic was where it was at there.

Also Cara had actually figured out email in her eleven years on this Maker-forsaken island.

This fucking island.